By: Humorous Columnist Marissa Hart

In life, people experience many different kinds of unfortunate crushes.

I am here to tell you about these different types because, not only have I had them, I have also had the opportunity to hear about them.

First you have the celebrity crush, probably the most deranged of every type. I mean, when I was 12-13, like many pre-teens I was 100 percent sure that I would marry my celebrity crush. Then when you turn 14-15, you figure out your crush’s age and you realize it would never have worked out anyway. Now reality hones in and you have to move on to the next type of crush: the attractive stranger.

You can be talking to your friend in the hallway and just sense that glowing tan skin walking your way. You immediately zone out and stare at this person, whose relationship status you are unaware of. I mean, the person could be a stalker for all you know! But in that instant, who cares? You are over Channing Tatum and saying hello to Mr. Stranger. Once you finally get the guts to actually say “hi” to this attractive stranger, you realize he/she is taken and you walk away, spotting your next type of crush.

This crush is the “Uh oh” crush because you realize you have made a mistake. Pretend you are sitting in class and an attractive person next to you asks for a pencil. You turn over smiling and look for a perfectly sharpened pencil in your backpack because you obviously want to make a good impression. Then you start to talk and then the mouth opens. He or she either has a very, very annoying voice or bad breath, and little to no teeth at all. Ugh, now you wish you would have given that not sharpened, no eraser pencil away.

Having crushes is a hard thing, especially when you tell your best friend who tells Bob who tells Billy Bob who then tells his friend’s friend. So here is some helpful advice for when you get one of these types of crushes: do not constantly check your phone, avoid constantly talk about the person to your friends and refrain from stalking on social media pages (Be real; it is only a little, ok.) If you follow these guidelines also seen on Buzzfeed.com, you might find the right person, some one who is not annoying, a celebrity or taken. You may just find yourself some one even more wondrous than Channing Tatum, a perfect fit for you.