Wise Guide to the Funny Bone Column: Tickled Silly Pink

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Wise Guide to the Funny Bone Column: Tickled Silly Pink

Get ready to toast with your

Get ready to toast with your "frose", millennials; you have your very own color.

Get ready to toast with your "frose", millennials; you have your very own color.

Get ready to toast with your "frose", millennials; you have your very own color.

Emilee Wise, Editor-in-Chief

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As Valentine’s Day rolls around the corner, companies, media and more aim to entice the American public with flowery words, sweet promises and snazzy new colors, the most popular: millennial pink.

For real?  A color named after a generation?

For real.  I know because I looked it up on Google.

In fact, Glamour’s online publication produced an article that took 409 words to explain that this shade of pink is . . . well, pink — with a tint of blue and touch of beige with dusting of blush and drop of frose (which, according to Glamour means frozen rose wine . . . classy).

In the words of Charlie Brown, it is wishy washy.  Really wishy washy.

It is fitting, really, because just their dubbed color, no one seems to know what — or who — a millennial is.

To add to the confusion, not even millennials want to be called millennials.  Earlier this year, while studying at Starbucks I overheard a conversation between a pair of co-workers and self-proclaimed ’90s kids that included the comment “those millennials don’t know stuff,” followed by a glance at me and a vulgar supplement for “stuff.”

Pardon me, awkward millennial on a date-but-not-date, but you are the one who does not know stuff.

Admittedly, the generational divide is a blurred line, and for current upperclassmen like myself, the grey area seems to stretch for miles.  Sources declare that the millennial cut off date ranges anywhere from the mid 1990s to the early 2000s, some even claiming 9/11 as the specific cut-off date.  Wanting to clear up the confusion, Pew Research Center took measures to generalize that anyone born from 1981 to 1996 gets the lucky chance to call themselves a millennial, as the rest of the generations fall like so:


As for characteristic differences between the newest generations, an infographic produced by Upfront Analytics claims that Generation Z, currently ranging up to age 22, holds global aspirations and a desire to make a difference, as 60 percent claim they want to change the world in comparison to the 39 percent of millennials.  Conclusively, the majority of Generation Z may not be able to vote — some may not even be toilet trained — but I am willing to place all my eggs in their basket. Or, Amazon shopping cart, if you will.

Nevertheless, millions of people born at generally the same time cannot be categorized by a certain list of traits.  Generations of human beings are so much more complex than numbers on a chart. While common decades may bind, they do not ensure specific traits such as pride, indifference, selfishness or conscientiousness.

Thus, let the millennials toast to their namesake this Valentine’s Day with their “frose” in hand.  After all, its tints of blue, touches of beige and dustings of blush really speak to the chaos — and confusion — of the season.


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